Here I am
A ghostly shell of who I once was
Empty
A heart so beaten and bruised
grows calloused
GOD!!please bring me back!
I want to be me again
I need to be me again
No more
No more hurt,no more pain
Please,God,please!!
Bring me back again.
Here I am
I feel sad
I feel afraid
I want to cry but the tears won't come
I want to run but my legs can't move
emptiness has overcome me
I breathe deeply
But I can't breathe deep enough
Here I am
Please, God, please!!
Bring me back again.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Life
Life.Who are we to decide who gets a chance and who doesn't?How selfish and arrogant can one be?Now I'm no better than the rest.I was once one of these selfish, arrogant individuals who thought it was my choice.After all it was my body, right? And aren't I the most important person in the world of me?I mean, what about my feelings?What about MY life?I didn't ask for it why should I be punished for something I didn't ask for?Something that wasn't my fault?I know now that what I did was a heinous crime and I am truly sorry and repentant.But the pain and shame will never leave.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you guys about a dream I had.I haven't really told anyone this dream except for my mom,so here it goes...
Darkness is all around me.I have no idea where I am but I think I hear something. It's very faint.Barely audible...but...yes, I do hear something.If only I could see.The ground is very uneven. It's hard to walk.And the stench!Oh, it smells horrible!Like rotting corpses.I want to vomit.I keep going.Stumbling over the semi soft, slippery terrain.Gradually it begins to get a little brighter.Now instead of pitch black there's sort of a dim, dark, reddish glow.I still can't make out any details of my surroundings.The sound seems to have grown a little louder now.I must be getting closer.But to what?It kind of sounds like...crying.Is someone crying?The path I'm on gets a little smoother now and I think I can faintly make out what appears to be trees...dead trees.Maybe I've been walking through a bog...but the stench is way too bad for it to just be a bog.There's probably a dead animal near by.My skin feels moist, almost slimy.What is on me?Must be because of the bog.The air itself seems to have a fine mist in it.The noise has gotten louder.Now instead of a faint cry it sounds more like screeching.What is that?It seems to be coming from several differant places at once.It's gotten brighter now and I can make out strange shapes up ahead.They were small, with weird little round things rising up and down.What the hell?Some strange animals?Ugh, whatever they were they didn't seem to have any hair.Suddenly, the ground becomes very uneven again.Almost...lumpy...like I'm walking on rocks covered with skin.I've now come to a slope.It's still too dark for me to see clearly and the rough terrain makes walking very difficult.So as I carefully try to make my way down the hill my foot slips and I go rolling over the rocks.Franticly I grab for something to slow my decent.My hand grasps a branch but it comes loose.I crash through a cluster of small trees and finally come to a stop at the bottom of the hill.Suddenly I am overwhelmed by the sickening stench that has pagued me the entire time.Only now it was too much to bear.It seemed to consume everything.I gag, there was no controling the vomit that had been threatening to make its exodus.When I finally look up I notice it has gotten brighter.I can see now my surroundings.But I wish I couldn't.I wish I had never seen what I saw when I looked up.There in front of me and all around me where bodies.Tiny, little bodies.Some were still moving, desperately clinging to what little bit of life they had left.Those round things I had seen rising up and down were their tiny little heads.There I stood in complete shock and horror.The mist that was in the air was actually a fine mist of blood.Why hadn't I tasted the salty metalic taste before?Looking down I see that my entire body is coated with blood.And the ground!My God!Those rocks that seemed to be covered with some kind of skin were actually little bodies.This whole time I had been waling on the bodies of babies!Then I notice that in my hand, what I thought was a branch was actually a very small arm.I fling it away from me.My attention now is drawn to the screeching which at this point is very loud.My ears now recognize it as the agonized wails of tiny infants.It seemed loudest directly in front of me.Just over the next mound of bodies.With carefully placed steps I make my way to the top. Every step I take I grit my teeth, every step felt like a terrible crim.Like I was desicrating thousands of graves at one time.But I had to.I had to go forward.I needed to see what was happening.What was killing all these babies.
Then I saw.And what I saw made me believe I must truely be in hell.For there before me was the most horrifyingly disgusting site I've ever seen.What seemed to go on forever were mounds and mounds of babies' bodies.Some still moving.But worst of all I saw why all these babies were dying.There was a line.A line of women and girls that went on and on as far as the eye could see.Each one had in her arms a baby.One by one they came forward.And one by one they handed their baby to him...The creature standing in the middle of it all.He was a menacing giant.A Demon.Once he had the infant in his hand he would raise it up above his head and squeeze it with draining a little blood into his mouth.when he was done, he just tossed it and held out his hand for the next one...
Then I woke up.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you guys about a dream I had.I haven't really told anyone this dream except for my mom,so here it goes...
Darkness is all around me.I have no idea where I am but I think I hear something. It's very faint.Barely audible...but...yes, I do hear something.If only I could see.The ground is very uneven. It's hard to walk.And the stench!Oh, it smells horrible!Like rotting corpses.I want to vomit.I keep going.Stumbling over the semi soft, slippery terrain.Gradually it begins to get a little brighter.Now instead of pitch black there's sort of a dim, dark, reddish glow.I still can't make out any details of my surroundings.The sound seems to have grown a little louder now.I must be getting closer.But to what?It kind of sounds like...crying.Is someone crying?The path I'm on gets a little smoother now and I think I can faintly make out what appears to be trees...dead trees.Maybe I've been walking through a bog...but the stench is way too bad for it to just be a bog.There's probably a dead animal near by.My skin feels moist, almost slimy.What is on me?Must be because of the bog.The air itself seems to have a fine mist in it.The noise has gotten louder.Now instead of a faint cry it sounds more like screeching.What is that?It seems to be coming from several differant places at once.It's gotten brighter now and I can make out strange shapes up ahead.They were small, with weird little round things rising up and down.What the hell?Some strange animals?Ugh, whatever they were they didn't seem to have any hair.Suddenly, the ground becomes very uneven again.Almost...lumpy...like I'm walking on rocks covered with skin.I've now come to a slope.It's still too dark for me to see clearly and the rough terrain makes walking very difficult.So as I carefully try to make my way down the hill my foot slips and I go rolling over the rocks.Franticly I grab for something to slow my decent.My hand grasps a branch but it comes loose.I crash through a cluster of small trees and finally come to a stop at the bottom of the hill.Suddenly I am overwhelmed by the sickening stench that has pagued me the entire time.Only now it was too much to bear.It seemed to consume everything.I gag, there was no controling the vomit that had been threatening to make its exodus.When I finally look up I notice it has gotten brighter.I can see now my surroundings.But I wish I couldn't.I wish I had never seen what I saw when I looked up.There in front of me and all around me where bodies.Tiny, little bodies.Some were still moving, desperately clinging to what little bit of life they had left.Those round things I had seen rising up and down were their tiny little heads.There I stood in complete shock and horror.The mist that was in the air was actually a fine mist of blood.Why hadn't I tasted the salty metalic taste before?Looking down I see that my entire body is coated with blood.And the ground!My God!Those rocks that seemed to be covered with some kind of skin were actually little bodies.This whole time I had been waling on the bodies of babies!Then I notice that in my hand, what I thought was a branch was actually a very small arm.I fling it away from me.My attention now is drawn to the screeching which at this point is very loud.My ears now recognize it as the agonized wails of tiny infants.It seemed loudest directly in front of me.Just over the next mound of bodies.With carefully placed steps I make my way to the top. Every step I take I grit my teeth, every step felt like a terrible crim.Like I was desicrating thousands of graves at one time.But I had to.I had to go forward.I needed to see what was happening.What was killing all these babies.
Then I saw.And what I saw made me believe I must truely be in hell.For there before me was the most horrifyingly disgusting site I've ever seen.What seemed to go on forever were mounds and mounds of babies' bodies.Some still moving.But worst of all I saw why all these babies were dying.There was a line.A line of women and girls that went on and on as far as the eye could see.Each one had in her arms a baby.One by one they came forward.And one by one they handed their baby to him...The creature standing in the middle of it all.He was a menacing giant.A Demon.Once he had the infant in his hand he would raise it up above his head and squeeze it with draining a little blood into his mouth.when he was done, he just tossed it and held out his hand for the next one...
Then I woke up.
Barack Obama detrimental to our economy and country
Ok, so it seems everyone is freaking out about the economy and crap.This whole presidential
election that's coming up as well.I honestly can't believe we are stuck with Obama and McCain.Obama...an inexperienced pushover that lies when he gets caught.McCain...well, I'm not too sure about him either, but at least he stands for something.And will everyone get off of Sarah Palin's back.GoD!!!Just because she has some morals everyone thinks she should be persecuted.In my opinion she is more qualified than Obama and quite frankly has bigger balls than him!HA!Besides why is everyone comparing Barrack to Sarah anyway.If he's such a good candidate then compare him to his real competion...McCain.Sarah is running for VICE PRESIDENT not PRESIDENT.Obama is a left wing liberal who will turn our country into a communist country.He's no patriot. He has no clue about anything military.He will make us vulnerable.Oh, yeah, all the other countries love him because if he's president they can swoop down and take advantage.Oh, and Obama can turn our country into a third world country overnight. He is really naive. I'm not racist, I just look at the person.But I won't vote for someone just because they're a different race than we usually have.Let's face it.If were going to elect so we can have our first black president lets get a real black man in there.Not some elitist who has no experience in things that really matter.Ok?I'm not saying he's a bad person, I think he's a pretty good guy.I just don't think he's presidential material right now.
Aright!That should be comment provoking.
election that's coming up as well.I honestly can't believe we are stuck with Obama and McCain.Obama...an inexperienced pushover that lies when he gets caught.McCain...well, I'm not too sure about him either, but at least he stands for something.And will everyone get off of Sarah Palin's back.GoD!!!Just because she has some morals everyone thinks she should be persecuted.In my opinion she is more qualified than Obama and quite frankly has bigger balls than him!HA!Besides why is everyone comparing Barrack to Sarah anyway.If he's such a good candidate then compare him to his real competion...McCain.Sarah is running for VICE PRESIDENT not PRESIDENT.Obama is a left wing liberal who will turn our country into a communist country.He's no patriot. He has no clue about anything military.He will make us vulnerable.Oh, yeah, all the other countries love him because if he's president they can swoop down and take advantage.Oh, and Obama can turn our country into a third world country overnight. He is really naive. I'm not racist, I just look at the person.But I won't vote for someone just because they're a different race than we usually have.Let's face it.If were going to elect so we can have our first black president lets get a real black man in there.Not some elitist who has no experience in things that really matter.Ok?I'm not saying he's a bad person, I think he's a pretty good guy.I just don't think he's presidential material right now.
Aright!That should be comment provoking.
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